Recovering from a C-Section with a NICU baby

Picking up where we left off with the Birth Story.

Friday, August 17

I messaged my closest friends in the middle of the night to let them know our baby had arrived and that we’d be sharing his name soon. The family had been asking to come all Thursday afternoon but I wasn’t doing well and even in my sleepy state I didn’t feel like it was fair for the family to meet my baby until I’d had I chance to hold him and spend time with him myself. The first few trips over to the NICU included me being hooked up to the IV which made it hard for us to get through the doors that weren’t automatic so that was fun. Brady’s parents came bright and early Friday morning to meet Henry with my sister and her boyfriend, Matt, stopping by for a couple of hours Friday evening.

Friday was a struggle because I would want to stay longer to visit Henry but I was still struggling with my own recovery and I really needed to be back in bed after a certain amount of time. During our hospital stay, Brady was having to help me through almost every movement and I felt so lucky to have someone who was so caring and helpful when there were so many things I couldn’t do for myself.

Saturday, August 18

By Friday night I was dealing with a lot of pain from gas that had built up following the surgery. I was told Friday morning that I should start walking that evening but I still hadn’t done more than a quick transfer to the wheelchair.  I should have followed instructions because throughout the evening and into the night, I had the worst pain I’ve ever felt. It was as bad as being back in labor except that I was also now dealing with having the pain from the surgery. If you’ve ever had a c-section, you know that any abdominal movement feels like your insides are being shredded and set on fire. I mean even a quick “heh” laugh feels like hell. I felt hot which made me feel even sicker but they were having trouble finding me a fan so, at the worst point of the night, Brady had to sit next to me keeping me cool with my hand fan for a couple of hours. Eventually, I threw up which is just about the worst thing ever after you’ve had a c-section. Once I’d thrown up, I was able to get up and walk to the NICU for the first time which finally helped my body to pass gas… and if you’ve ever had abdominal surgery before, you know that the first passing of gas is a special right of passage. Your body feels like a whole new place after giving a baby.

When the PA came by for my morning check-up, we were told that the NICU was full and that they were just stabilizing and sending out any new patients. I was sad for those families knowing that had it been us, it would have been at least 3 days before I even got to see my baby for the first time.

I took my first shower after all the morning hubbub which was extremely refreshing and helped me feel human again. Later that morning my family came to meet Henry for the first time and we got to share his name with them. Hanna and my dad claim they knew it all along which is funny since they’d known previously it was a name that I liked. My brother wasn’t able to meet him because you have to be over 18 to be allowed into the NICU but he got to hang out and we all had lunch together.

We realized quickly that time in the hospital disappears. Between my sloth-like walks back and forth from the NICU (because every movement feels like you’re internally being ripped apart), pumping and cleaning pump parts every 2-3 hours, trying to get in a meal, PA and doctor check-ups, meds from the nurses, vitals from the techs, as well as entertaining visitors… you realize there isn’t enough time to get it all done and get any reasonable amount of sleep. I’m sure it still would have been difficult if we were to cut out the NICU/pumping routine but adding that in really swallowed a lot of time. There wasn’t a whole lot of sleep happening while we were staying there. By the time my family left, we only had a few more hours until we were expecting more guests. Around 6, the parents-in-law came by with dinner and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law got to meet Henry. 

During one of my midnight pumping sessions, I felt overwhelmed with grief because I was feeling the loss of not having my baby next to me or in my arms. I couldn’t stop crying and I just wanted to be with my baby. I felt so guilty that I’d barely spent any time with him since he’d been born and it was so hard to see him hooked up to all the machines. I cried the whole walk over to the NICU and I started crying harder when I noticed they’d pulled out some formula to feed him. I thought they’d run out of the colostrum we’d been sending over and I felt terrible that I hadn’t been putting even more effort into pumping to make sure that they had enough. Turns out that they had plenty, they had just decided to alternate to make sure it didn’t bother his stomach? It was frustrating because we wanted him only receiving breastmilk/colostrum but also because I went through those few minutes of agony thinking I wasn’t providing for my son on top of being unable to be with him.

Sunday, August 19

We found out Sunday morning that he would be taken off of oxygen and that I’d finally get to breastfeed for the first time. I had a hard time sleeping and when I got the call, I almost jumped out of bed without any help. Brady literally laughed at me because it really was the quickest I had moved in days. There was high motivation to get to my baby and give him what I know he’d been wanting from me since he was born. He was almost exactly 3 days old before I was allowed to breastfeed my son for the first time. My dad came by around the same time to spend a few minutes with us and we got a few sweet photos before he left. We also had a few of our friends come to visit around lunchtime and the rest of the day was back and forth from the NICU for feedings and trying to get some rest.

We were lucky enough to have Henry in his own room for the first few days instead of one of the ward spaces but once he was off the oxygen and no longer needed the warmer bed, we were moved to the ward space where we only had curtains separating us from the neighboring babies. At this point, we were thinking he was going to be in the NICU until Thursday so it was a bummer to lose that private space, especially since we were now breastfeeding.

August 20

The beginning of the day was hard because we were beginning to make preparations for me to switch from a patient to a boarder so that I could still be near Henry to feed him. We were struggling with all of his feedings because he would often latch alright but would fall asleep almost immediately or within 5 minutes and it was almost impossible to wake him back up so he was eating frequently and I wasn’t getting much sleep at all. Brady had been helping me every NICU trip but I did a solo session a couple of times and by mid-morning, I was exhausted.  I went back to the room to sleep and maybe 30 minutes into my nap, I was startled awake because I couldn’t breathe. I kept trying to breathe but it felt like my throat was closed. I paged the nurse and by the time she got there it had settled out but it was kind of terrifying. Apparently I must have been having sleep apnea or something and it continued for the first few days we were home whenever I slept. Brady was with Henry when it happened so I called him and he said he had good news… we could take Henry home! I squealed out “really?!” because we’d been expecting to be in the hospital for at least another 3 days. 

We started the process of getting ready to leave around 10 starting with packing our things and carrying them out to the car which Brady decided he was going to do by himself in one trip. We weren’t able to leave the hospital until after 4 because it took time to get through discharge paperwork and other loose ends. Once we’d done it all, I was wheeled out to our car and we were ready to go home. I had to sit in the back seat with him for his first trip in the car just to make sure he was ok but it was difficult to get in since I still was pained from any movement. There were 2 things I should have done to make my first car ride post-c-section a million times better: I should have used the bathroom because a full bladder created uncomfortable pressure against my scar. Secondly, I’d asked for a belly binder but I left it in the box and packed it with my things instead of wearing it. If I’d worn it, it probably would have lessened the shock from every bump, turn, and slow down.

Going home was a new set of challenges for me like getting in and out of bed (without the assistance of a hospital bed), in and out of the shower, going up the stairs, not always having a flat surface to walk on, etc but within 1-2 weeks I was getting along a lot better on my own without too much pain. Henry did great coming home and continued to be a happy and content baby living the eat, sleep, poop life. We spent almost all of the next couple of weeks cuddling our sleepy baby.